The World Without Authors – 15

A bit of a longer pause between chapters this time, but I’ll try to make up for it in the future. As usual, thanks to Doctorlit for his excellent beta work!

15 – Letting It Sink

Sergio leaned against a wall in Johnson’s office. It was getting a bit crowded – Johnson had summoned him, Ami, Corolla, Hiro, Albert, Robin and Hajime.

We’re the ones who know about the briefcase issue. This is surely about that.

“At ease, everyone. This is a rather uncomfortable topic, so no need to make it even more uncomfortable by staying stiff.”

“I assume this is about the briefcase, sir?” Albert asked.

“Yes. I’ve been in continuous contact with the NATO brass about it, and the first thing I can say is that the matter is indeed classified as confidential. Not one word with anyone about this.”

Sergio saw his daughter stiffening. Having been called in for the original briefing as the only Strike Dove member with knowledge about cordium had now set quite the burden on her shoulders.

“In fact, they appreciated us taking in Miss Kuo – it apparently helps keeping track of who has knowledge of the whole affair. I know it will be hard keeping a secret from our colleagues, but there’s no choice. The Belkans don’t know that we know, and we need to squeeze any advantage out of it.”

“Speaking of that,” Sergio said, “what’s the Coalition’s plan to counter Belka’s cordium research?”

“In order to start cordium production, an active volcanic area and a precursor are needed – and there was only one such precursor in the briefcase. This is good news for us, as this means there’s a limited number of locations where a facility can be built, and only one such facility can be made at all. The Coalition has recently launched new surveillance satellites that are searching for those locations.”

“And then we will seize all those places from under their noses?” Corolla asked.

“No, that would clue them in to the fact that we do know. The Coalition’s strategy will actually be to let the Belkans build the facility and start it – and then perform a deep strike operation to raze it to the ground. Cordium is highly volatile, so it is pretty much assured that such a strike will destroy the precursor as well.”

Sergio took a deep breath. He knew the meaning of all of that. “And, let me guess, we’re the ones who will have to put our asses on the line.”

Johnson let out a short laugh and nodded slowly. “We already had knowledge of the whole affair, and we’ve performed well in our assignments… perhaps too well. Giving us the hot potato was a no-brainer for them. As of now, the plan is to send a task force composed of Skystreaker Squadron and Wardog Squadron, with the latter expected to deploy high-yield explosives to demolish the facility. Don’t worry, I made sure we’ll be adequately compensated and equipped for that.”

“Compensated… and equipped?” Ami tilted her head slightly to the side. “Do you mean…?”

“Yes. While they haven’t agreed on moving our Phoenix orders up in the schedule, we will be loaned a couple of them for the operation. Ami, Corolla, you should start getting some flight hours on Phoenix 016 when you have the chance.”

“Of course!” Corolla pumped up her fists. “By the way, I’ve just heard back from Sugo Grand Prix. They’re interested in my little engine project, and agreed to help with manufacturing spare parts for the Silent Raptor and the Tomcats in exchange.”

Sergio raised an eyebrow. “That’s good news, but… an engine designed by you? For a racing team?”

“Well… not completely by me.” Corolla fidgeted. “I… kinda doubled up the STR-03.”

Sergio’s eyes widened. “You reverse engineered the-”

“And I’ll need your help for some details, by the way.”

***

Kathleen walked into Corolla’s “laboratory,” one of the hangars of Tomoeda Field. She walked past Corolla’s plane towards the end of the hangar, where her nieces’ Gundam was standing surrounded by scaffolding. It was facing away from her, with its back open. Corolla and the new mechanic girl were hoisting into it a large cylindrical object that dwarfed them both.

“A bit more right… good, perfect,” Corolla shouted. “Let’s bolt it in, Robin!”

Kathleen climbed the stairs leading to the platform the other two girls were working on, the metal steps clanking under her feet. While she didn’t know much about mecha, the large object was likely the Gundam’s power source – if it was going back in, it was going to move again.

Corolla turned towards her as soon as she was on the platform. “Hi, Kath! Fancy seeing you here.”

Kathleen waved her hand at her. “Hey. You’re fixing it?”

Corolla finished tightening a bolt and wiped her forehead. “Kinda. We managed to nick a few Minovsky Ultracompact Particle Reactors from downed Zakus, so I’m tossing one in the Wave Gundam for now. It is only part of what’s needed to make my Minotaur Drives, but it can power a Mobile Suit on its own. Let’s say it will give it the ‘mobile’ part of ‘Mobile Suit’ at least, ‘cause this poor thing has been an Immobile Suit lately.”

Kathleen laughed at her pun. “So… you’re planning to test drive it? Or pilot. I don’t know the right term.”

Corolla stared at her, as if to study her expression. “Oh, I think I know where this is going. Well, yes, and this is set up as a trainer so you can come with me. Still, you didn’t strike me as the type who would want to try piloting a mecha? You never showed any interest in our planes.”

“Planes are boring. Gundams are cool.” Kathleen crossed her arms. “Besides, if my little brother gets to fly a mecha, I want to try one too.”

Corolla burst out a laugh. “Okay, this is more like you. Gimme a couple days to finish it up and do a few tests, and we’ll be ready to have fun!”

Robin peeked from the other side of the reactor. “By the way… Could you finish bolting up your side? My arms are starting to hurt.”

***

Nikki bit down eagerly on her ice cream cone, prompting a laugh from Syaoron. “You look like you haven’t eaten an ice cream in years.”

Nikki felt her cheeks heat up. Not even Sakura and Syaoran had been eating theirs that quickly.

“I’m sorry… It’s just that this shop closed down in my world before we moved back to Japan, so I literally hadn’t had ice cream here since I was Sakura’s age.”

“Really?” Sakura asked. “This place is so popular! Why would they close?”

Nikki bit her lip. “Maybe it had to do with the war that happened in my world.”

“But now the war is far away, isn’t it?”

Nikki nodded. According to what she heard from the news on TV, the front inched closer to Belka every day, proof of it being that lately, Skystreaker Squadron was out for a few days each sortie.

And, even during their downtime, her friends were barely able to spare enough time for a short visit.

She felt a hand on her shoulder, and she realized it was Syaoron, a concerned look on his face.

“Don’t make that face, Nikki. You told us yourself that you won’t have to go back to fighting if you don’t want to.”

“Don’t worry, I wasn’t thinking about that. I’m already planning on not going back to active duty.”

Active duty? Have I started speaking like a soldier?

Syaoron, Syaoran and Sakura all looked relieved

“That’s great!” Sakura said. “I was so worried you could get hurt again…”

“So, what are you going to do?” Syaoron asked.

“Well, there are a lot of non-combat duties that need covering, but the Colonel said I’m also free to resign and look for a civilian occupation anytime if I feel so. I haven’t decided yet.”

She resumed eating her ice cream. Her soul was a bit more at ease knowing she didn’t have to fight anymore but, at the same time, she couldn’t shake off the feeling that she was taking the easy way out.

“That’s good to hear.” Syaoron said. “Now you don’t have to worry about anything but what you really want for yourself.”

He leaned in towards her looking intently, which took her by surprise. She gulped, feeling her heartbeat accelerate.

Syaoron took a paper handkerchief from the table and passed it on her cheek, smiling broadly. “You had a bit of ice cream on the cheek. Like a kid.”

Nikki looked down, feeling her cheeks heat up. Now that was embarrassing. At the same time, though, she couldn’t help but think about the reaction she had when he closed in.

Am I… feeling attracted to Syaoron?

***

“Going karting, you say?” Keiko raised an eyebrow. “I told you, I haven’t touched one in ages, and I think you also know why.”

Hajime fidgeted, and Ai lowered her eyes.

“I know, but… I thought you were just against continuing your racing career?” Hajime said. “It would be just for fun, no competition. Corolla said it’s going to be free, too!” 

Keiko kept her eyebrow up. “Knowing Auntie, there might be a catch to it.”

“Actually… no?” Ai explained. “The track is inside Sugo’s test track. That’s a Cyber Formula team Strike Dove has signed a business deal with. Corolla is designing a new engine for them, and they’re manufacturing spare parts for us.”

Keiko nodded slowly. Racing cars often used carbon fiber and other aircraft grade components – the manufacturing processes were the same.

“Corolla also said she’s already had a look at your old kart, she says she brought it back to its former glory,” Hajime continued.

Keiko’s shoulders slumped. “Let me guess… I’m not allowed to say no.”

She sighed. At that point, saying no would just disappoint everyone. “So be it, then.”

One thing kept nagging at the back of her head, though. How does Auntie Corolla find the time for everything?

***

“And this is Sugo’s test track!” Corolla shouted as she, Keiko, Hajime and Ai headed towards the paddock, walking alongside one of the main track’s safety barriers.

Keiko could hear the high pitched whine of a formula engine in the distance. There was likely a test session going on – perhaps she would be able to see what those “cyber formula” cars were.

The whine became louder, and something appeared at the end of the straightaway. Keiko instinctively covered her ears – formula engines were outright deafening up close.

The car accelerated, flames shooting out of what looked like jet engines attached over its rear body. It covered the straightaway in just a few seconds, giving Keiko just enough time to recognize the general shape of a Le Mans-style prototype with six wheels and a fighter jet-style canopy.

The car turned off its jet engines just as it ran past them, still fast enough for its shockwave to hit them with a strong wind.

“What was that?!” Ai cried as she did her best to hold her skirt down.

Keiko leaned on the safety fence, trying to get a better look at the weird vehicle. It had started transforming – the jet engines went inside the bodywork, with the fins next to them rotating and turning into rear wings. The front fenders folded towards the canopy, turning the front of the car from that of a Le Mans prototype to that of a formula car.

“The mad transforming bastard child of a Tyrrell P34 and a fighter jet?” she wondered.

“Kinda,” Corolla conceded. “That’s a Cyber Formula. Basically, it is to a Formula One car what a Variable Fighter is to a conventional fighter. Now, I have to go have some bureaucratic talk with Sugo’s staff, so feel free to start getting changed.”

***

Keiko pulled up the zipper on her racing suit. Another legacy from the shed – the very same suit she wore during her brief career. She hadn’t grown a single centimeter since she was twelve, so it still fit her like a glove. She undid her twintails and picked up her helmet.

She noticed Hajime staring at her. “What is it?”

“Oh, nothing. It’s just that you never have your hair down, not even while sleeping.”

“Really?” Ai asked. “Aren’t twintails uncomfortable to sleep with?”

Keiko shrugged. “I’m used to it.”

She clutched her helmet. I used to go out without my twintails only for racing, after all.

***

Corolla crossed her arms behind her head as Claire Fortran, Sugo’s lead designer, inspected on a computer the projected technical specifications of the STR-03/12C engine. The blonde woman hadn’t said a single word since she had received the USB drive – in fact, she was going through the data almost manically.

“So? Is it good?”

Claire relaxed against the back of her chair. “If it performs as specified, it will perform even better than the current spec of the GIO Motors engine. You said you already had a proof-of-concept unit working?”

“Kinda. The one I’m proposing is based on an earlier project by a friend of mine – don’t worry, he’s onboard with this. The original STR-03 is basically halved compared to the STR-03/12C, it’s a three liter V6 instead of a five liter V12, and it was built with lower standard materials, but even then it reached about 900 horsepower on amounts of boost intended to keep the car useable on road. Well, by him and very few other people, but still on the road.”

Claire laughed. “That’s good to hear. I was a bit worried, the block design seemed a bit outdated.”

“Oh, well… It does have its roots in the Alfa Romeo ‘Busso’ V6…”

***

Keiko braked and turned the steering wheel left for a corner, leaning left with her body to counteract the centrifugal force. She floored the accelerator, knowing that on a warm sunny day like that she had plenty of grip.

Her kart tried to oversteer only slightly, and Keiko corrected her steering input a little. That’s right, just that little bit of slip to get through the corner faster.

She caught up with Hajime, and followed her for a couple corners. She’s much slower than me… she wasn’t kidding when she said she only drove rentals and only a few times.

The following corner was a long, sweeping one, and Keiko stayed on the outside as Hajime went towards the apex point. Her lines aren’t bad, but she’s not confident enough to carry more speed.

Keiko turned in more just as Hajime reached the inside curb. A late apex will get me past her with no trouble.

Hajime continued on her line, going now for the outside curb, and Keiko floored it again as she went for the inside curb at a further point than her sister did. They came out of the corner side-to-side, and Keiko finished the pass on the straightaway.

Keiko couldn’t help but smile. Looks like I still know how to drive.

***

Ami looked at her hands – or, rather, the Phoenix’s manipulators. “This feels weird.”

“Yeah, it takes a bit of getting used to,” Sergio said through the intercom. “But it makes moving and aiming much easier.”

Ami took a few steps forward, moving to the designated firing position of the live-fire training area. She gripped the gunpod and kneeled down, taking aim at one of the dummy targets. She instinctively tried to look into the gunpod’s sights, only to find none.

Sergio let out a short laugh. “I know, no sights. You gotta use the HUD.”

Ami nodded, and moved the gunpod around until the crosshair on the HUD was on target. She pulled the trigger – at least that was one feature it shared with infantry guns.

The gunpod fired, but Ami didn’t feel much recoil. She let go of the trigger after a second, having doused the target with shells. “I’ve never been able to fire in full auto this well!”

“Yeah, the damping on this thing’s actuators is incredible.”

Ami aimed at a different target, and fired on it as well. Again, she had no trouble keeping the gunpod aimed steadily while it fired. And to think even the low recoil of the P90 submachine gun gave me trouble!

She fired at a few more targets in quick succession until the gunpod suddenly ceased firing, a big “MGP EMPTY” sign appeared on her vision.

Sergio laughed again. “You were having fun, weren’t you?”

Ami felt her cheeks heat up despite the fact her senses were linked to the Phoenix. “Sorry.”

“Well, I’m afraid this concludes the Battroid mode practice. We don’t have much fuel left anyway.”

Ami nodded. It was time to get back to Tomoeda Field.

***

Corolla followed Claire to a balcony of the Sugo test track paddock. A young man was standing at the railing, looking down towards the kart track.

“If you keep staring at those girls like that, I’m gonna be jealous,” Claire said.

The man turned around, his sunglasses failing to hide his surprised expression. He must’ve not heard them coming. Corolla recognized him as Osamu Sugo, the owner of the team.

Claire brough a hand to her forehead dramatically. “My, what will be of poor me, if all it takes for a girl to catch your attention is to drive around on a track?”

Corolla grinned, catching the hint. “I’m so disappointed as well. Those girls are all still minors, you know?”

Osamu facepalmed, prompting a giggle from Claire. “So… At least you’re coming with good news?”

“Of course. The design is solid, I think we can go straight to start building a prototype.”

Corolla puffed her chest. Of course it was solid, it was my improvement on an engine designed by Sergio!

“That’s good to hear, with GIO Motors not existing anymore we would’ve been forced to rely on overhauling the few remaining engines for next season.” Osamu turned towards Corolla. “Thank you for your help, Corolla.”

“It’s nothing! You’re being a great help for us as well, my plane would become grounded pretty soon without the spares you’re making for us.” Corolla crossed her arms. “Doesn’t give you any right to ogle those girls, though. Two of them are my best friend’s daughters, you know.”

Osamu let out a short laugh. “I admit I was watching one of them, but for a legitimate reason.”

He stared back at Claire, who was pretending to glare at him. “The one with the white and aqua green suit.”

Corolla looked down at the track, where Keiko was overtaking Ai on one of the straights. “Oh, that would be Keiko. Let me guess, she’s much faster than the other two?”

“Yes. In fact, I dare say she’s quite good – is she a racing driver?”

Corolla tried to recall what she had heard from both her and Hajime. “Was. She won the All Japan Junior Kart Championship four years ago, but retired right afterwards from what I understood. A shame, she’s just as good as her father!”

Osamu raised an eyebrow. “Her father?”

“Under-16 World Rally Champion, twice in a row. Stuff that happened in our world kinda forced him on the military route, though. He was finally trying his hand at being a racing driver again, but this mess happened.”

Corolla couldn’t help but feel sorry for Sergio. As much as he liked playing with fighter planes and transforming mecha fighter planes, she knew he would’ve enjoyed even more continuing the peaceful life of a racing driver. Well, more peaceful than that of a military pilot, for sure.

Osamu nodded slowly. “I see.”

“Don’t tell me…” Claire tilted her head to the side. “Are you considering her as the second driver?”

Oh, this is interesting.

“I admit it, I was considering asking her to try.” Osamu turned towards Corolla again. “See, due to the Unravel we have lost one of our drivers, and with the situation as it is right now looking for a replacement is difficult. From what I understood, Cyber Formulas only existed in our universe. There are already plans for a championship starting next year, but the few experienced drivers have been already contracted and looking for new ones is difficult.”

Corolla smiled. “Well, isn’t this your lucky day? If we can end the war as fast as I think we will, you’ll have not one but two drivers available from us!”

Osamu shook his head. “I wish I could be as sure as you are. Anyways, I wouldn’t mind giving Keiko a chance, but… if that kart is the fastest thing she has ever driven, I’m afraid that it will be too big of a performance jump for her. The slowest car we have capable of running, the Super Asurada SA-01C, is much slower than our current cars but is still much faster than even a Formula One car.”

“How much faster?”

“Let’s just say it can reach six hundred kilometers an hour.”

Corolla thought it up for a second. “Uhm, I see the problem. Well, I might be able to provide the missing step myself. The car for which the original STR-03 was made still exists and is currently in my possession.”

Sure, Sergio is gonna kill me if he discovers I didn’t have it scrapped like he asked, but it is for a good cause! At least, now it is.

***

Nikki found herself floating underwater in an endless ocean, nothing but water surrounding her. This… looks like the limbo I was in when I was almost dead.

“You’re disappointing me, you know?”

Nikki turned around; she knew that voice. A lot like hers, but with a meaner tone. “Kurara?”

Indeed, her evil clone was there, wearing the same black sailor fuku uniform she was wearing the day Nikki killed her.

“Happy to hear you still remember me. At least you aren’t that much of a disaster.” She passed a hand over her face. “Jeez, look at you now. You’re such a trainwreck, I can’t believe I managed to get myself killed by you.”

Nikki clenched her fists. “Why are you here?”

Kurara shrugged. “Getting a bit of vengeance by mocking you. I can’t really do much else as I am now, thank you.”

 She swam closer, smirking. “I was right though. You tried, kudos for that, but in the end you Sakuras really don’t have the guts to kill people.”

“Of course I don’t like killing! I’m not a psychopath!”

“Pitying those trying to kill you is stupid. What’s next, letting them kill you because it would be rude not to?”

Nikki gritted her teeth as she tried to keep her anger in check. Kurara was still the same, seeing the world only as a kill or be killed affair. No wonder she had ended up working as an assassin.

“And, guess what, you’re the only one who hasn’t realized it yet! Sergio and Ami entered the soldier mentality with no problem, and Corolla never made it a problem. They’ll harden up and do what needs to be done to save the world or whatever.” Kurara poked Nikki’s chest. “You? You’ve still got the soft heart of a little magical girl of love and justice. You can try to keep up with them as much as you want, but the truth is that you’re not cut out for that.”

Nikki opened up her eyes, staring at the ceiling of Sakura’s room. That was just a dream… or was it really her?

She gulped. As much as she hated to give her evil clone a point, she was right. Her friends were giving it all to protect Japan, and in combat there was no time for second thoughts. She would only slow them down.

***

[Wangan Midnight – Voice of S30Z]

“So, let’s get this straight,” Keiko said as Corolla led her towards the pits of the Sugo test track. “Why am I being chosen to drive your latest deathtrap? Besides, if you’re dragging me to the track every afternoon I won’t be able to do any homework.”

“Because you’re good, and you likely inherited what it takes to control it. And, besides, both Sergio and Sugo’s only remaining driver are busy today.”

Keiko sighed. “Well, if it helps get you guys the parts you need, I guess I can give it a try. But if I die on it, I’ll haunt you for all eternity.”

“Don’t be so dramatic. Your father never crashed it.”

Corolla stopped right in front of one of the pits. There was a car inside it, a red saloon with a big rear wing. Keiko squinted – she had already seen it somewhere.

Keiko’s jaw dropped. “No way… That’s the car Dad built when he was young? The… how was it called…”

“The Stormer. The engine we’ve designed for Sugo just happens to be based on this one’s, so showing them this in action will surely get them fully convinced.”

Keiko could get behind that. From what she heard, the car was ridiculously fast. Still, there was something that didn’t add up. “I thought Dad said it was scrapped?”

“Oh, well… He offered it to DoSAT to dismantle it for study, as it was a Suvian artifact. And, as you know, I was then transferred there. He never explicitly mentioned that we were not to reassemble it afterwards.”

Keiko sighed. “Now I understand why you’re asking me and not him.”

“That, and another thing that will be a surprise for later.”

What am I getting into?

***

[Wangan Midnight – Speed of S30Z]

Keiko countersteered as fast as she could, kicking the throttle pedal at the same time. The Stormer’s spin was countered, but the car still slid wide enough that she felt the rough vibrations of a rear wheel hitting the grass.

“Auntie, this thing is undriveable!” she screamed as she shifted gears. “Are you sure you reassembled it right?”

“Of course I did, I kept very detailed notes on it!” Corolla said from the passenger seat. “It just so happens that your father liked driving cars on the lively side when he was young.”

Keiko braked hard for the following corner, and she found herself sideways again. Lively? More like possessed.

She countersteered and gave throttle again to try to stabilize the car, the engine growling loudly as it shot past 10,000 RPM. There was no way around it, the car was extremely unstable. “If I accelerate, the rear kicks out. If I steer, it does the same. Do I have to tell you what it does when I try to brake?”

“The rear kicks out?”

Keiko gritted her teeth as she tried accelerating out of the corner without breaking traction. Without much success. “That was a rhetorical question, Auntie.”

“Well, if this car likes to stay sideways, why don’t you drive it like it wants to be driven? I remember your father would drift it from corner to corner.”

Keiko thought it up. It wasn’t proper driving for a tarmac racing circuit, but maybe the way the car was set up made it more suited for drifting.

She reached the following corner, and she turned in more aggressively before countersteering and giving it full throttle, sending the car on a four wheel drift deliberately. At least this time.

She played with the throttle and steering inputs to try to correct her line, and suddenly the car seemed to be more responsive. Was that a fluke?

Keiko took a deep breath and did the same in the next corner. She turned in hard, and catched the oversteer with throttle and countersteering.

What the hell? It’s almost like something settled in the car!

A chicane came up, and Keiko took it as the previous corner. Turn right, countersteer left, let it fully correct out at the beginning of the left corner, kick the throttle and countersteer right.

Keiko found herself past the chicane before even realizing it, coming out of it at a much faster speed than in the previous lap. “So that’s how you want to be driven, right?”

“I knew you would do it, Kei!” Corolla pumped up her fists. “Is it so uncontrollable now?”

“Not so much anymore.” Keiko smiled as she entered the last hairpin. “In fact, I think I’m starting to have fun.”

“Good to hear, because now that you can drive it it’s time for its party trick!”

“Party trick?” Keiko asked as she began accelerating on the main straight. Corolla fumbled with some controls under the center console, and in the side mirrors Keiko saw two cylindrical objects come out from the rear fenders. A fan in the middle of each of the objects started spinning.

“Hey, aren’t those-”

Keiko’s words were cut off by the car accelerating forward much faster, flattening her against the seat’s backrest. The speed on the digital speedometer shot up quickly.

Before she even realized it, she was already past 450 kilometers per hour.

***

Claire glanced at the Stormer as it ran past the table she and Osamu were sitting at. “Well, I’m quite impressed. Corolla said they’re from a world with no Cyber Formulas, but that car comes pretty close to those from a decade ago.”

She looked down. “A shame Keiko doesn’t seem to be handling it so well.”

Osamu looked into a tablet showing the lap times, rubbing his chin. “She’s doing an excellent job, actually. I can see it by how that thing moves, she isn’t ending up sideways because she can’t control the car, it’s the car that wants to be driven that way.”

“It’s the car that… Don’t tell me you’re thinking that that car has a will of its own? It doesn’t have any Cyber Navigation system at all, let alone an intelligent one like Asurada.”

“I know, Claire. But when I looked at that car the first time, I felt like it was sitting here judging me.”

Claire laughed. Was Osamu finally starting to crack some jokes as well? “And what was its ruling?”

“That I, a former Formula One and Cyber Formula driver, was not worthy.” He took a sip out of a cup of tea. “If she really tamed something like that, then Keiko Turbo might really be suited to become Sugo’s second driver for… the year 0001 season of the Cyber Formula World Championship, I guess.”

Just as he finished speaking, the Stormer came into the pits. It slowed down and stopped next to them, its occupants coming out right away.

“So, what do you think?” Corolla said. “It’s just half of the Cyber Formula spec engine, but it’s still pretty fast!”

“For sure,” Osamu said. “And I dare say that was quite the impressive drive, Keiko.”

“Thank you, Mr. Sugo.” Keiko glanced back at the car. “She was quite hard to understand at first, but I think we’re getting along now.”

Claire raised an eyebrow. Was she using female pronouns for the car? It made no sense, it had no Cyber Navigation system.

“So, did Keiko pass the audition?” Corolla asked.

Keiko’s eyes widened, and she looked around in panic. “Audition? Don’t tell me…  Wait, no way! No one told me anything about this!”

“Yes way!” Corolla pumped up her fists. “You can now be a racing driver again, and drive the coolest cars on Earth!”

“But I don’t-”

Corolla started dragging Keiko away. “Give us a minute, please?”

Osamu gave Claire a confused look, and the latter shrugged with a smile. She walked over to the car, and started inspecting it. At first look, there didn’t seem to be anything out of the ordinary in it.

“Uh, leave her alone, please?” Keiko said as Corolla kept doing her best to drag her past the corner of a wall. “She’s kinda distrusting of strangers.”

“Kinda distrusting…?” Claire repeated just as Keiko disappeared behind the corner. She glanced back at the car, and a chill went down her spine.

It was completely irrational, but she felt as if the Stormer was staring right into her soul.

***

“And that’s everything for today!” Faith said as Nikki finished the last set of exercises.

Nikki couldn’t help but smile. This time she wasn’t feeling tired at all – granted, those were pretty basic ones, but at first even just a bit of stretching was difficult.

“I dare say your recovery is almost complete,” Faith continued. “Even if you haven’t got all of your strength back yet, you’re on the way there. Are your legs still getting sore after standing or walking for a while?”

“No, I took a nice walk with Sakura and Hanami yesterday and I was fine.”

Faith took a tablet from the room’s desk and tapped in a couple notes. “Good.”

Her expression changed to a more concerned one. “How are you feeling about the rest?”

“Uhm, fine?”

“No, I wasn’t talking about your body. Are you still having nightmares?

Nikki held her arm, lowering her eyes at the same time. “Yes.”

Faith set her tablet down and walked next to her. “It’s a natural reaction, don’t worry. Unless they’re accompanied by other symptoms-”

Nikki gulped. “I… actually had a couple flashbacks as well.”

“I see… let’s sit for a minute.”

Faith sat down on the soft mat that had been laid over the room’s floor to turn it into a small gym, and Nikki did the same.

“How many of them did you have, and what triggered them?”

“A couple, so far. One by an explosion in a videogame about fighter jets, the other by a whack-a-mole machine.”

“Hmm… The first one is understandable, but I can’t see how the latter could have happened. If it’s not asking too much, can you give me more details?”

Nikki gulped again. “The voices of the moles when I hit them reminded me of those of the enemy soldiers when I… dealt with them.”

Faith nodded slowly. “I think I get it. I’m no psychotherapist, but I think you might have some post-traumatic stress disorder going on. I’ll see if I can book an appointment with a specialist for you.”

Nikki felt as if a rock had been dropped on her. This means I’m not getting any better!

She got up, and walked over to the window. There was a nice view on the runway and apron, and she could see Sergio’s new plane surrounded by the ground crew. Two people were standing next to the cockpit wearing flight suits – Sergio and Ami.

“They’re working hard to keep everyone safe… and instead of being there fighting at their side, I’m here crumbling like a sand castle at the first tide. I’m such a useless coward…” she murmured.

Faith grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her around. “Don’t even think anything like that!”

Nikki froze. Faith never raised her voice like that.

“I know how you feel… I’ve been there. All my life. I grew up watching Kath struggle with controlling her powers, and not being able to do anything to help her.”

Faith lowered her gaze. “The only reason I had anything to do with the Organization was because by claiming I wanted to continue Uncle Marcus’ abandoned research on ESP powers I had access to the studies I needed to help her. And, even then, I felt guilty about sitting all day behind a computer screen reviewing data while Kath was out there fighting with you guys. She was facing danger while I was in the safety of a lab room.”

Nikki bit her lip. She appreciated her effort to reassure her, but her struggle wasn’t quite the same. “You were being her insider, though. It was you who discovered the tide manipulation machine, right?”

“That is true, but-”

“Faith, I’m not even doing that. I’m just sitting here doing nothing all day.”

“And that is alright! Your body just finished healing, and your psyche needs just a bit more time. You’ll be back, no doubt about it. The best thing you can do for Sergio, Ami and Corolla? Focus on your recovery so they can fight better knowing they don’t need to worry about you.”

Nikki felt a knot at her throat. “And what if I never recover? Faith, this… this is not a war I can fight. I don’t want to kill anyone anymore, ever.”

Faith pulled her in a hug. “And that is also alright. No one can do everything. We can find other ways for you to help them.”

Nikki tried to fight back her tears to no avail. Don’t lie. There’s no way I can help them come back safe when I’m hundreds of miles away from where they’re fighting.

***

Keiko waved off Corolla’s arm. “Okay, Auntie, time out. You’re trying to sign me up for something behind my back, aren’t you?”

“It’s not ‘behind your back,’ it was a surprise! Mr. Sugo and I both saw how good you are at the wheel, and he’s down a driver so we were wondering if you were up to it. I saw how you walked around the Asurada AKF-0/G when it came back to the pits yesterday, you would’ve jumped straight into it if you could.”

“Okay, the Asurada was super cool and I would’ve loved to try it, I’ll admit it. But I don’t want to be a racing driver ever again.”

Corolla’s shoulders slumped, and Keiko couldn’t help but feel sorry for her. While the way she had set up the whole affair was questionable, Corolla clearly believed she was making her niece a great gift.

“But why? You’re-”

“Yes, I’m good. Stop repeating that – it’s four years that people keep asking the same question! Even Himeko herself!”

“Himeko… Your friend, right? The one who had the accident? Then-”

Keiko crossed her arms. “Yes. The one I made a promise to reach Formula One together with. Guess that’s never going to happen, what with her having spent four years in a wheelchair and now having gone poof in the Unravel.”

She clenched her fists and stared at the ground, hoping it was enough to hide her tears from Corolla. “Like Shiro. Like Saki… like almost everyone I know.”

“But Himeko didn’t want you to stop, you admitted it yourself. Stopping for the sake of a ‘promise’ didn’t bring her legs back, did it? Refusing this offer will bring Shiro and Saki back?”

Keiko gulped. “No, I guess,” she said, fighting the knot in her throat.

Corolla pushed her chin up. “Look at this place. They lost one of their drivers, most of their staff, their sponsors and also a lot of equipment. They took our orders and that of the government for parts to keep up the war effort so they could raise some funds, but as a result they barely have enough manufacturing capacity left to keep one AKF-0/G chassis running for Hayato and Asurada to keep practicing on. And yet, they won’t stop chasing their dreams because they lost their friends – they’ll fulfill them in their honor in spite of everything.”

Keiko wiped her eyes. “That’s another way to look at it, I guess.”

Corolla turned her back towards the track. Only then Keiko noticed that Mr. Sugo and Claire were standing right there. Claire was, for some strange reason, waving two miniature Japanese flags – an attempt to cheer her on?

“If you can’t race with two 350 kilometers per hour Formula cars together, then you can race with a 700 kilometers per hour car for both. Let’s fulfill everyone’s dreams together. Even those of those who are no longer with us.”

Keiko took a deep breath. “Okay, I’m gonna give it a try. No promises, though.”

Her eyes widened as soon as she realized something. “Wait, how fast did you say a Cyber Formula is?”

***

“Now I know why you were grinning so much after you flew it the first time, the Phoenix is so cool!” Ami said as she and Sergio walked towards the lobby of the main building.

Sergio nodded slowly. “Yeah. It’s leagues ahead of even my Raptor – much more versatile, both in armament and mobility.”

“A bit too mobile for my tastes, though. Doesn’t really work with my stand-off style.”

Sergio nodded. While she handled his aircraft right, he could see she struggled in fine movements. “I know, it’s a bit delicate in handling and lacks stability. That’s what you get when what you’re flying is basically a developmental prototype with engines half the power of the actual combat grade VF-1 Valkyrie. But, until they manage to sort out how to make thermonuclear turbines, that’s what we get.”

They entered the lobby, and headed towards the vending machine. There was only one person in sight, a familiar brunette taking a Pepsi can from the machine’s chute.

“Nikki!” Ami shouted as she ran over to her.

Nikki turned towards them, opening the can. “Hi. How is it going?”

Sergio walked over as well. “We just came back from a practice sortie with the Phoenix. Nothing big. What about you?”

“Just had my routine check-up with Faith.”

Ami took a can of Coke from the vending machine, and Sergio selected the same drink for himself. “And how did it go?”

“I’m still rehabilitating, but there’s progress.”

“That’s good to hear!” Ami said. “I can’t wait to have you back, you’re going to love the VF-0 Phoenix!”

“Eh? I…”

Sergio smiled. “She’s right. It’s the highly mobile kind of aircraft you like to fly. It’s so light, it feels like it follows your very thoughts.”

Nikki averted her eyes for a second or two. “We’ll see.”

“It surely will suit you more than me!” Ami said.

“We can always ask Gino or Corolla if we can do a separate control profile for you.” Sergio looked up in thought. “It’s fully flight-by-wire, so I think whatever they did to your Eagle S/MTD can be done to the Phoenix as well.”

“That would help! I’d struggle getting a good SAAM shot if it keeps wiggling like that… “

Nikki laughed before finishing her soda. “I’m sure you’ll find a solution.” She tossed the empty can in the trash bin. “Well, it was nice to see you, but I’m afraid I need to go. I promised I would help with making dinner today.”

Sergio nodded. “I see. Do you need a ride? I’ve finally managed to have the headgasket replaced on the Trueno so it’s up and running again, no more big and uncomfortable Humvees for you.”

Nikki laughed. “Thank you, but Syaoran’s brother already offered to.” Nikki glanced at her wristwatch. “I think he might be already waiting for me at the parking lot, actually.”

Syaoran’s brother? Sergio tried to recall. Oh, right, she mentioned there being a Syaoran in his twenties who has been adopted by the Li family as “Syaoron”.

***

Nikki clenched the handles of her bag as Syaoron drove out of the parking lot, her mind still set on the short chat she had with Sergio an Ami.

They’re still convinced I’ll be back soon like nothing has happened… I’m not that strong.

She looked out of the car’s window absent-mindedly. Then again, they don’t know how much of a mess I actually am right now. But I can’t tell them, they already have too much to worry about.

As much as she hated to admit it, she was also starting to feel disconnected from them. Case in point, how casually Sergio and Ami were talking about how to set up the plane.

And I barely know the difference between an aileron and a rudder.

“You can try to keep up with them as much as you want, but the truth is that you’re not cut out for that.”

Nikki gritted her teeth as Kurara’s words echoed into her mind. She didn’t want to concede her clone being right, but she was out of arguments.

They’re expecting someone who doesn’t exist anymore… they’ll rely on me, but I won’t be able to deliver.

“Nikki? Is everything alright?”

Nikki turned towards Syaoron. While his eyes were set on the road, she could see he was worried.

“I’m sorry, I spaced out a bit. Were you saying something?”

“I was asking how the gymnastics session went.”

“Oh, it went nicely! I’m not even getting tired anymore! Though… Faith said I might have to see a therapist for the nightmares and that flashback.”

“I see. Well, I think that’s a good idea.” Syaoron smiled. “You have nothing to lose, and all to gain from that.”

“You think? I felt like ‘no, I can’t be this much of a mess’ at first…”

Syaoron shook his head. “And you aren’t. You’re a wonderful, strong girl who has simply gone through a bit too much lately. There’s nothing wrong in asking for help when it happens.”

Nikki felt her cheeks heat up. “Stop it with the compliments! You know I’m taken already…”

“Sorry,” Syaoron said amid laughter.

Nikki averted her eyes. As much as she hated to admit it, she actually felt genuinely happy at his words. He never met her at her prime, so it meant she had been judged positively for who she was now.

The normal, if a bit troubled elder daughter of the Kinomoto family, instead of the veteran Lieutenant Cherryflower her friends were still waiting for.

***

Kathleen walked into Faith’s small office. Her cousin was sitting at the desk and talking on the phone, so she stayed a few steps back.

“Next Tuesday morning at ten o’clock? That is perfect, thank you. We’ll be there. Goodbye!”

Faith closed the call, and Kathleen hugged her from the back. “What are you doing?”

“I booked an appointment with a specialist for Nikki.”

Kathleen felt like there was something she was missing. From what she knew, Nikki’s recovery was being supernaturally quick – she had made sure it was! “A specialist? For what?”

“I’m afraid her accident caused her to develop post-traumatic stress disorder, and destroyed her self-esteem. That’s not something I’m equipped to deal with, I’m turning to someone who is so we can tackle this before it turns into straight-out depression.”

Kathleen thought it up. She could trust Faith’s judgment on this, but it didn’t mean she couldn’t do anything of her own.

“I don’t know much about this post-traumatic stress thing, but I think I know what can also help. You know, she’s been living with her family which is good, but she’s not been seeing her boyfriend much which isn’t good. They’ve been relying on each other since, what? A decade? They can’t suddenly be cut from each other, especially since we all struggled for years to get them together.”

Faith turned towards her. “Nikki said they were actually planning to have a day out together, but lately Sergio’s been busy so he never actually managed to take a day off.”

Kathleen pouted. “That’s so like him, all work and no play. Well, I’m getting this in my hands then. Gotta talk to a couple people, I’ll set things up so they can have another date.”

Faith laughed. “It sure will lift her spirits up.”

“Trust me, we’ll fix her in no time. You’ve paged the stress specialist, and I’m paging the Nikki specialist.”

***

Kathleen entered the hangar where Sergio’s transforming plane-mecha was being worked on. Sure, the transformation added a few points to the coolness factor, but she found the aircraft to not be really impressive in looks. She actually preferred how his old plane looked.

However, she wasn’t there to do an aircraft beauty contest. She walked straight to the guy directing work and tapped his shoulder. “Got a minute?”

Gino turned towards her. “Sure. Hey, Koshita, can you go on without me for a little while?”

One of the ground crew poked his head out from inside the cockpit. “No problem, boss.”

***

Gino walked to a quiet spot behind the hangar and turned around towards Kathleen. “So, what’s the matter? If you’re the one asking, I don’t think it’s Strike Dove stuff.”

“You’re right. It’s Nikki stuff, actually. You created her, so you should be able to fix her trauma, right?”

Gino held his arms forward, palms towards her. “Slow down. I lost my ability to affect the Word Worlds with this Unravel thing – I have no more authority on you guys, so I can’t magically ‘fix’ her.”

Kathleen glared at him. Of course, they were stuck with her brother’s author, not her own. “You’re just as useless as my brother.”

“Trust me, I would be more than glad to do that. It wouldn’t be good writing solving that without a character development arc, but fuck that. This isn’t an amateur internet story anymore, all of our asses are on the line.” He crossed his arms. “What I can do, though, is try to understand what’s going on in her mind. I should be able to figure out what’s needed for her to snap out of the bad place she’s stuck in.”

“Now you’re talking. What do you need to know?”

Gino rubbed his chin. “I wrote her until December 2012 in-universe – little more than one year and half ago from her perspective. I know, of course, what place her mind was in then, and I have a vague idea on what was supposed to go on afterwards. Sergio would look for work as a racing driver, they would move to Japan and Nikki would eventually find work at a cafè. No major incidents or weird happenings for quite a while. A nice, happy normal life.”

Kathleen nodded. “Yes, that’s what they told me.”

“Now, what I need is to know what happened to her between the Unravel and the crash. Both were quite the hits for her psyche indeed, but they wouldn’t have been anywhere near enough to turn her into a complete wreck.”

Kathleen thought it up. It had been a few weeks since they had caught up with their respective worlds’ happenings, but she was sure she could remember everything.

“Let’s see… I think she said she arrived in this world alone, and the first thing she did was killing a few soldiers who wanted to pillage an inn and rape the owner’s daughter… probably Nazi or something.”

Gino nodded slowly. He looked concerned. “Okay, that’s already nastier than I thought. But she should’ve been able to bounce back from that without any trouble.”

“Then she was captured by the Belkans and was forced to fly for them, bombing ships and shooting down planes and whatever.”

“They forced her to fly for them?” Gino repeated. “Like a penal unit?”

“Yes, that’s how they called it. Sergio said it was called “spare” or something, and her plane was a piece of junk.”

“Spare Squadron? But that’s an Osean unit… no, scratch that, their commander is an opportunist. I can see him jumping ship.” The concern on Gino’s face grew. “I’m starting to see the problem. Nikki hates killing – she’ll do it to protect herself or her friends, but if she’s been forced to kill people she didn’t even consider an enemy…”

“Well, she’s been killing actual enemies of ours after Sergio rescued her from there. I heard he blasted up an entire squadron by himself to do so. And then we’re at the battle at Sand Island, where those same guys tried to get revenge on Sergio, Nikki took the shot for him and crashed, and he then proceeded to go berserk on the Belkans’ asses.”

Gino nodded slowly. “Of course he would… Okay, this gives me a better picture, and it isn’t pretty. At all. This isn’t just a few blows – she’s been through a freaking grinder.”

He remained silent, and Kathleen decided to give him some space. If I want the golden egg, I need to let the hen have the time to lay it… I will still tell him to hurry if he takes too long, though.

Gino glanced at Kathleen. “From what I heard, she’s been injured very badly, right?”

“Yes. She’s been in a coma for four days, and when she woke up she couldn’t move, like, at all. Her daughter had to spoon-feed her, and in the end I gave her a bit of a regeneration boost. When we arrived here, she had just started walking again. Oh, and her wand was destroyed, too”

“And since then she’s been living with Sakura’s family, that much I know myself.”

“Yes. And she’s not getting enough time with Sergio, or Corolla, or Ami, I can tell you that. They’re always out shooting stuff.”

“Yeah, that I know too. I’m the one helping the ground crew do maintenance on- oh, fuck.”

Kathleen crossed her arms. “I don’t like the sound of that.”

“I think I understood. Okay, I’m not angry with you all, you all did what you thought was best and I understand you have a war to fight, but… shit. You did the very thing you should have never done!”

Gino slapped his forehead. “Nikki’s not only struggling with post-traumatic stress disorder from the crash, she’s surely being eaten alive by the remorse of being forced to kill people. But, since this is a war between nations, the only way to not kill is to stop fighting alongside her friends. Which, as you can guess, would be like abandoning them for her, so she’s surely also feeling like a coward.”

Kathleen tapped her foot on the ground. “So, what’s the solution?”

“The solution? Not cutting her off from Sergio, Corolla and the others, for starters! You know what Nikki is thinking right now? ‘They’re out there fighting, and I can’t do anything to help them because I’m weak and a coward’. We need to give her something to do that directly helps Skystreaker Squadron, even just a bit of paperwork, and allows her to see everyone as much as possible.”

Gino stared straight into Kathleen’s eyes and grabbed her shoulders. “She needs to feel part of the team again, before the rift between her and her friends becomes too big.”

Kathleen shooed him off. “Get your hands off me. But I agree. I’m already planning on setting up a nice date for her and Sergio tomorrow.” She smiled. “Grandpa won’t tell me no if I ask to give him a day off.”

Scribetto nodded. “Good thinking, that will surely help. I’m coming with you – I’ll break the masquerade with him as well if I have to, but like hell I’m seeing one of my characters break apart as if she was written by Gen Urobuchi.”

***

Sergio finished walking up the stairs leading to the roof of Strike Dove’s headquarters. The sun had already started to set, but it was still warm enough to be comfortable.

The perfect moment for some alone time to try to put some order in his thoughts. There was something off about Nikki today. She always loved flying, but she didn’t seem very enthusiastic about trying out the Phoenix.

Sure, she was still showing some lingering damage – her nightmares being some of it. But was it enough to scare her off flying?

He shook his head. No, no way. This isn’t the first time destiny threw her a curveball. She actually died once, and came back. We’re still talking about the same Nikki who wandered through the multiverse for four years never losing hope of finding me. She just needs some more time.

Only then, he noticed that there was someone else on the roof. He walked towards the silhouette against the setting sun just as it turned towards him, only then recognizing one of his daughters.

“Let me guess, you needed some alone time to think too?”

Hajime nodded. “Yes.” She stayed silent for a few seconds. “You know…  I grew up wanting to be a Strike Dove operative too one day, but I never imagined it would be like this. In my timeline, Striker Teams would go out and be done in a single sortie.”

Sergio nodded slowly as he joined her at the safety railing. “Yeah, that was the norm. Strike Dove was never really meant to take active part in proper wars. But, hey, sometimes the good fight is a bit bigger and more complicated, I guess?”

Hajime fiddled with her headband a bit. “I guess.”

“But that’s not the only matter, right?”

Hajime nodded. “I never imagined I would have to keep secrets from even my family. I have known Keiko for just a couple months… but she’s my beloved sister now. And yet I’m keeping things from her.”

“Yeah, I know, that’s a hard pill to swallow.” Sergio took a deep breath. “But, the better we keep the matter quiet, the better we will be able to catch the Belkans by surprise. And keep them from nuking us all.”

He glanced at her. “I hate keeping this from Nikki and Keiko, too. But sometimes you have to break a few eggs to make an omelet.”

Hajime gave him a somewhat confused glance. “You really think so, Dad?”

Sergio shrugged. It still felt a bit weird being called that. “Well, it worked so far. The me from your timeline maybe knew better, but… well, he was double my age, I think? I’m turning twenty-three next month.”

He glanced at her. “I’m still getting used to this ‘being a father’ thing.”

Hajme laughed. “It shows. But… you’re still Dad. Even if you… well… aren’t the same who would actually become, well… my dad?” She gave him another confused glance.

Sergio ruffled his daughter’s hair. “Yeah, this is confusing, I know. But not having actually conceived a child yet doesn’t mean I don’t have to take responsibility for my daughters-from-the-future somehow, so I’m trying.”

“Well, the first step could be taking responsibility properly and marrying both of the mothers.” Kathleen said from behind him.

He turned around to face her. She was, of course, grinning ear to ear.

“Don’t tell me you’re waiting for Touya to force you into a shotgun wedding?” She glanced sideways. “Well, maybe he won’t. He seems to have mellowed out since that time Keiko put him in a headlock.”

Keiko? Nah, I don’t think she’s wrestling people into submission. “You’re pulling my leg.”

“Er… She did.” Hajime said.

“Keiko… I think he got it.”

“You think so?”

“His face is becoming blue!”

Touya kicked the air and punched the ground, trying to get out of his niece’s grasp.

“Okay… I’m letting you go, Uncle Touya, but remember this: Mom is what Dad loves the most in the world, and she loves him back just as much. And, even more importantly, if they weren’t together I couldn’t have been born so I’m taking your disapproval of their relationship personally.”

She let him go, and he crawled away gasping for air.

Sergio blinked a couple of times. “Remember me to ask Gramps to give her a raise.”

“Speaking of him, that’s why I’m here,” Kathleen continued. “You’re spending a lot of time with Ami, which is good, but I noticed that you’re being too much of a workaholic and so you’re barely seeing Nikki anymore.” She shook her head in disapproval. “That isn’t good, so I took the liberty of asking Grandpa to give you a day off tomorrow. Don’t even think about saying no, I’m the elder between the two of us.”

Sergio laughed. “Okay, you’re right, I think I might have been postponing my day off too much. But, as I told Hajime earlier, I’m turning twenty-three soon. I’m afraid I’m the older one now.”

“You were artificially aged by nine years, lil bro. You’ll actually turn fourteen. Which means not only am I still the eldest, but your daughter here is also older than you.”

***

Nikki inhaled the fresh mountain air as she sat over the picnic blanket. “It feels nice here!”

The spot they had chosen was just off the beaten path, with a stream passing by, coming from a small lake. The trees opened up enough for the small grass field they were sitting in to get a good view of the valley.

“And it isn’t even too far from Tomoeda – we can come here anytime,” Sergio said as he sat down as well.

Nikki nodded. If she squinted her eyes, she could actually see the town in the distance. She opened up the basket and took out the lunch she had prepared.

“I… hope you’re fine with sandwiches,” she said as she handed one over. “I admit I overslept, and didn’t have the time to do anything more complicated.”

She felt her cheeks heat up in embarrassment. She was planning on preparing a much more varied menu, but when Sakura’s alarm clock rang, she doomed herself by going “just five minutes” and turning over. She fell asleep again, and woke up barely an hour before she was supposed to go out.

Sergio laughed. “Oh, come on. You know I’m not picky.” He took a bite out of the sandwich. “And it’s good, so you have nothing to worry about.”

Nikki took a bit out of hers. He was right, they turned out well – if maybe a bit plain. Then again, I really would need to be hopeless to mess up a sandwich…

They kept eating, doing small talk and laughing. Maybe her friends were right, the storm had passed. And the war against Belka can’t last forever, as well…

She felt a drop of water hitting her hand. “Uh?”

Sergio checked his glasses. “I thought we were distant enough from the stream to not get splashed.” He put them back on, and looked into the distance. “Oh.”

Nikki turned in the direction he was looking. Dark clouds loomed over the horizon, a thunderstorm was closing in.

She clenched her skirt. Who am I kidding? There’s always another storm coming for us.

***

Sergio kept driving towards the Kinomotos’ house, the Trueno’s wipers doing their best to get the rain off its windshield. Even at full speed, they were barely enough.

He sighed. “I’m sorry. The forecast said it was going to be sunny today, and instead we have so much rain that anything more, and I’d be driving a boat instead.”

“Don’t worry,” Nikki said, looking down towards her picnic basket. “Not everything works out after all.”

“Speaking about that… Are you feeling well? You’ve been awfully quiet since we got back in the car. Sure, our plans have been ruined, but I think we have enough time to think of something else. I’m kinda used to that.”

Nikki didn’t answer.

“Nikki?… Is something bothering you?”

Nikki gripped her backet’s handle. “Not really. Nothing new, at least.”

Sergio raised an eyebrow as he turned left at an intersection. That wasn’t a good answer. “Nikki?”

“Am I a burden like this?”

The hell is that about? “Of course not! In fact, you’ve gotten up to your feet much more quickly than even the most hopeful forecasts. You’ve already tossed your crutches away when most people would still be bedridden.”

Nikki looked out of the side window. “Yes, but… I’m leaving all the hard work to you guys.”

“Trust me, there’ll be plenty of work for you as well once you get back. We’re inching closer to Belka every day, but there’s still a lot of ground to cover.”

“I will never be back!” Nikki shouted.

Sergio was taken aback. What the hell is she saying?

“If I play a video game with explosions, I see myself in the cockpit of my Eagle while it falls apart. I can’t even play whack-a-mole without getting flashbacks of me bombing some tanks! And on top of that… this war isn’t like anything else we’ve done in the past. We’re killing people!”

Sergio didn’t know what to say. For how long was she bottling up all of this?

“I can’t take it, Sergio. I can’t take it anymore.”

Sergio stopped the car in front of the Kinomotos’ house. “And that’s alright. If you don’t feel like fighting anymore, no one will force you. And no one can blame you. We’re so understaffed, I’m sure there’s plenty of ways you can be of help without having to get in a fight again.”

“Yes, but… I made you a promise. That I would always be at your side.”

“Oh, come on. What you went through more than excuses you. I’ll get by. After all, all it takes is actually listening to you and being less reckless.”

He laughed, hoping for her to do the same, but she didn’t follow.

“Hey, I’m perfectly fine with you not wanting to fight again. If you want a civilian occupation, that’s OK with me. I’d be fine even if you become just a housewife, really. As long as you find something you’re comfortable with, and smile again.”

Sergio tried to hug her, but she shied away. “… Nikki?”

“I cannot even be a good housewife.”

What? “Now you’re self-loathing gratuitously. From what I’ve heard from Keiko, future you managed to juggle a cafè and the house with no issue. Well, we were all doing our part for the latter, but you get the idea.”

“But that’s no longer my future! I… I am only a pale shadow of me now.” Nikki turned away. “If… If Keiko didn’t come here from that future, we wouldn’t have ever met her.”

Sergio felt completely lost. “What do you mean by that?”

“I can’t have children anymore.”

“Eh? But I thought Shamal said all your organs-”

“My ovaries are fine, she managed to put them back together. But I lost all my egg cells. Keiko aside, I will never be a mother.”

“And so? That’s bad, but that doesn’t make you any less! Take some time to let all of this sink in… and remember: you’re not alone, and will never be.”

Nikki nodded slowly, and opened the door.

“So… Tomorrow evening I think I have a couple hours,” Sergio said. “It’s not much but do you want to meet up? Even for just a chat.”

Nikki got out. “I’d prefer not.”

She turned around. She was trying to smile, but even with the pouring rain Sergio could see the tears forming under her eyes. “I… I think it’s better if we stop seeing each other. You need someone capable of staying at your side, not a little coward like me.”

Sergio couldn’t believe his ears. Was she ending their relationship?

“Please, forgive me… and forget about me,” she said before running towards the gate.

Sergio got out of the car and ran after her. “Nikki, wait!”

Nikki closed the gate behind her, and ran into the house without looking back. Sergio stopped, the rain hammering on his head.

I can’t believe it… is this some kind of fucked up nightmare?

He kept staring at the door until the cold rain sent a shiver down his spine, and he reluctantly walked back to his car. There was nothing more he could do there – for Nikki to go back to her old self, it all came down to her.

If she wants to, that is.

***

Ami was listening to one of Yui Makino’s albums when Moschetto glowed. She picked up the Device and a holographic window opened. A text message from Nikki.

Your turn now.

Ami raised an eyebrow. What does she mean by that?

***

Sergio stomped on the brake pedal to slow down before the hairpin. He turned towards the outside of the corner a little to upset the car before turning in, sending the Trueno in a drift. He countersteered and played with the throttle to keep the car on the ideal line.

That crash messed with her head more than she let us realize. She probably didn’t want us to get worried… I should’ve spent more time with her. Maybe I could’ve caught this in time.

He accelerated out of the corner, shifting up a gear.

But what can I do now? I tried calling her, but she didn’t answer. She doesn’t want to even talk now… at least, not to me.

His phone rang in its holder, and his heart skipped a beat. Could it be her? He slowed down before pushing the answer button. The screen read “Corolla.”

Figures. That would’ve been too easy. “Hello?”

“Hey, Sergio, you’re still with Nikki?” Corolla said.

Sergio felt his stomach knot up. I’ll tell her later. “No, I left her home an hour ago. I’m on the pass, I felt like doing a couple runs to clear my head.”

“Really? I thought you were planning to spend the whole day together. Then again, she did send Ami a strange message.”

“Strange… how?” A chill went down his spine. Was she planning to do something stupid?

“She’s on the phone with her right now, she’s trying to get an explanation. Did something happen while you were together?”

Sergio took a deep breath. “Well… she dumped me.”

“… What? Okay, that makes no sense, unless you were being too rough with her in bed? I mean, she’s still recovering, you have to be more gentle-”

“Corolla, last time we did it was before her crash. That’s not the issue here!”

“Oh, sorry. Then, what has gotten into her?”

“Hell if I know. She seems to think she’s worthless – and I don’t know how to snap her out of it.” He sighed. “I’m afraid she’s got some PTSD going on – she mentioned having flashbacks, and not wanting to fight anymore.”

“… You must be kidding me. She’s stronger than that!”

“That’s what I think, too. The problem is that she doesn’t seem to realize it.”

***

“You can’t be serious!” Ami shouted. “You can’t just hand him over to me like that, he’s not a package!”

Nikki sat on Sakura’s bed. “The very fact Hajime exists is proof that you can take good care of him… I can’t do that anymore.”

“He did fall for me in that timeline, but he loves you now. I will watch his back in battle if you don’t want to be a pilot anymore, you don’t even have to ask, but we cannot simply tell him ‘you should take Ami as a girlfriend.’ It doesn’t work that way!”

“I know it, Ami. But I’m sure he’ll warm up to you if I get out of the way.”

“Get out of the- Wait, what do you want to do?”

Ami sounded terrified – did she think she wanted to take her own life?

“I’m not doing anything stupid, don’t worry. I’ll find my place in this world. It’s just… he’s got too much to deal with, and instead of taking weight off him I would burden him with more. So my place is not at his side anymore.”

She took a deep breath. “You said he needs a light to keep the darkness away, right? Well, the comet came back, so she can take over for the little star that ran out of light.”

Nikki heard a loud sigh. “Fine. I’ll keep an eye over him for now – but I expect you to come back shining more than ever one day.”

Nikki did a half smile. “Perhaps.”

“And, about Strike Dove, what do you want to do? Even if you don’t fly anymore, we still want you around. You’re our friend after all, and working with friends is more fun!”

“I haven’t decided yet. For now I’m still on medical leave, but I’m not sure I want to work in anything military related anymore. I… I’ve still got nightmares about what happened. I need fresh air.” Nikki clenched the bedsheet.

“I understand. Is this… what do they call it? Post Traumatic Stress Disorder? Maybe you should go see a psychologist, that thing is nasty.”

“Yeah, I know. Faith already set me up for an appointment with a specialist next week.”

“I’m happy to hear that. Take care!”

“You too. Bye!” Nikki closed the call and walked over to the desk. The papers to make her officially part of the Kinomoto family were partially compiled.

The field with her surname following the adoption was still empty, and she didn’t know what to put in it.

I gave myself Cherryflower when I realized I wasn’t Sakura, but now I’m part of the family again. And, besides… that me doesn’t exist anymore. The little that is left could very well be a Kinomoto?