Scene: PPC Theater. The lights are out, hiding from view the people sitting there. Again.
SERGIO: Everyone’s ready?
COROLLA: Yeah. Lights, please!
Three spotlights are turned on, illuminating the three Agents.
SERGIO: Welcome back to the PPC Theater! Today we’re going to spork the second, and luckily last, chapter of “Fate of heroes that crossed path with each other”.
COROLLA: Unfortunately, Nanoha isn’t with us today.
NIKKI: She had a little chat with the Sunflower Official. Rumors say that she befriended him.
COROLLA: Don’t worry! We managed to find a substitute!
COROLLA: Not for the Sunflower, so stop holding your breath. Today we have a very special guest! She recently became one of the most worshipped deities here in HQ, and is also one of the few who actually know about the PPC, so if you pray to her she’ll listen! Ladies and gentlemen, the Concept of Hope and Goddess of Magical Girls, Madoka Kaname!
The last two spotlights are turned on, illuminating Madoka in her goddess outfit and Homura. The Puella Magi is hugging tight the goddess, eyes closed and smiling. Sergio hits her with an elbow.
SERGIO (whispering): We’re on air.
Homura looks around in surprise, then flicks her hair and her cold mask is back again.
COROLLA: We’ve also got Kyubey here again. You don’t know how much of a pain is keeping those two…
Corolla uses two holographic arrows to point at Sergio and Homura.
COROLLA: … from making him more holey than Swiss cheese.
SERGIO: He’s evil!
HOMURA: And screwed over thousands of magical girls. Including Madoka and me.
MADOKA: Come on, I changed it all! There’s no need to hold grudges anymore!
A countdown appears on the screen. 3… 2… 1…
SERGIO, NIKKI and COROLLA: We’ve got badfic sign!
Author’s note: This is my 2nd chapter
Author’s note: This is my 2nd chapter. Though this story has some adventures but it mainly focused on Nanoha and Yuuno relationship.
KYUBEY: Again with those useless repetitions?
SERGIO: Yeah, we know, it’s a waste of energy, you don’t get it, and you are even right.
COROLLA: Even saying that we should call the Department of Redundancy Department is starting to become redundant.
NIKKI: We entered an endless recursion of time.
Homura stares at her.
NIKKI: Sorry, I didn’t want to bring out bad memories.
And if people wonder why Caro is Fate’s child, I assume that she adopted Caro and Erio. Vivio will appear later in the story xD. Enjoy the story and remember to review.
COROLLA: I thought the relationship between Fate, Erio and Caro was rather clear already in the series.
SERGIO: Not as much as the blatant attempts to ship Erio and Caro made by the other characters, though.
MADOKA: But they are so cute together!
Disclaimer: I do not own Nanoha. T.T
SERGIO: We are glad you don’t.
MADOKA: Uhm, didn’t the author say that already?
SERGIO: Yeah, in the Author Note. Twice. Insert random joke about the Department of Redundancy Department here.
“Mou, why are you so late? I have been waiting for half an hour. HALF AN HOUR you get it? You know how I feel about punctuality.” Nanoha said as they walked together.
COROLLA: It’s not like Yuuno was piloting the ship himself.
NIKKI: Then again, it’s not like Nanoha is this short-tempered…
“Haha, gome, gome. The ship’s engine has some problem so our flight is delayed. Anyway, it is great to be back here.”
Nikki, Homura and Madoka start waving their arms like Nanoha in the A’s scene where Vita mispronounced her name.
NIKKI, HOMURA and MADOKA: It’s “gomen”! “GO-MEN”!
COROLLA: Fangirl Japanese. Why does it exist?
KYUBEY: If your race had only one language, this problem wouldn’t exist, don’t you think?
SERGIO: Please, someone, kill him! He’s making sense again!
COROLLA: Mr. Someone is busy now. Please leave a message after the bip. Bip.
Yuuno gave a smile as he talked to Nanoha. “Beside, the most important thing is that I am back here isn’t it, Nano chan.”
SERGIO: Not the sappy romance again. Please.
NIKKI: And stick to Nanoha-chan, at least.
Nanoha sighed and said,” Yeah, that’s true I guess. You still have to submit your report right?”
Yuuno grinned at Nanoha expression. She just looks like a puppy, so cute.
COROLLA: Oh, please. Where are the Pink Beams of Firendship that made this series famous?
MADOKA: Uhm, I thought you wanted to say “friendship”?
COROLLA: No, Firendship. As in “Firepower”. You know, what Homura relied upon heavily until you rewrote the world.
SERGIO: And by “heavily”, we mean missile launcher trucks, anti-ship missiles and tons of C4 plastic explosives. Shame it wasn’t enough, but kudos for the attempt. Those were good fireworks.
HOMURA: Thank you.
He nodded his head which Nanoha gave a sad look and another sigh then he said,” But the process is quite fast. If all goes well, we still have time to have dinner together. Up for a date, Nano chan?”
Nanoha immediately gave a tight hug to Yuuno which shocked him and made him blushed and she nodded her head furiously.” Yes, of course I want. You can’t believe how long I have wait for this. Thank you, Yuu chan.”
COROLLA: Uhm, this report thing makes no sense. And more stupid nicknames.
HOMURA: If things worked that way, I would be calling Madoka “Mado chan” right now, and I am not.
MADOKA: I do want you to call me “Madoka-chan” though…
Madoka gets weird stares from everybody. The goddess blushes a bit and waves her hands.
MADOKA: When we speak in Japanese, I mean!
He scratched his head and gave an embarrassed smile after noticing many people staring and muttering about them. He hesitated for a second then slowly closed his arms around Nanoha and hugged her tightly. How warm her body is. I’m so glad to have you Nanoha; you are the only love in my life. How I wish that the time now can stop and allow us to be like this forever…
SERGIO: Enough with the badly written romance! I want Starlight Breakers!
NIKKI: And we have random POV changes too. Good thing this isn’t a mission.
After a few minutes, they broke off reluctantly with faint blushes on their faces. Yuuno then said,” Well, I got to hand in my report to Chrono or else he going to nag at me again. Why don’t we meet at….?” Nanoha put her finger on his lips and said with a smile,” Why don’t we have dinner at my house? I have some recipes that I want to let you try.”
COROLLA: Wait, why does he need to report to Chrono? Military and archeology aren’t the same thing. Unless he was investigating some Lost Logia or something, but I think he probably had enough of them after those pesky Jewel Seeds.
SERGIO: It’s an unwritten rule. You use Yuuno and want to be funny, you put in Ferret-Boy-Enslaving Chrono. Unfortunately, if you can’t do that well it does more harm than good. Poor guy.
NIKKI: Who? Chrono or Yuuno?
SERGIO: … Both.
Yuuno raised his eyebrow in surprise but seeing the determined look on her eyes which meant that she would not take a no for an answer, he nodded and leaned near her and said softly in her ears,” Ok then. 7 o’clock. I love you, Nanoha.” Then he gave a kiss to her forehead and walked off, leaving a blushing Nanoha staring at him.
SERGIO: Did she go from “serious” to “embarrassed” in ten second flat, just for a kiss?
MADOKA: Homura does that too.
Madoka kisses Homura on the cheek. The Puella Magi loses her cold mask and blushes.
Wow, he is so bold all of a sudden. What have happened to him? Oh well, i have to tell Fate chan now.
COROLLA: Badfic. That’s what happened to him.
NIKKI: Why does Nanoha need to talk to Fate about it like they were fourteen-year-olds on their first date? No offence meant to actual fourteen-year-olds.
HOMURA: None taken.
At someplace near them, Teana and Subaru (I decide to use back Teana or Tea and not Tia.)
SERGIO: There was no need to use an in-text note to tell that. Those are annoying. And, in fact, you didn’t need to justify your nickname change at all.
COROLLA: There are enough things wrong it this fic that we wouldn’t even have noticed.
smiled and gave each other a high-five. Subaru said,” Well, mission accomplished. I say that we must have exceeded expectation. Now, let us go and get our rewards from Fate.”
Tea laughed,”Yeah. I can’t believe that we can get free entry cards for any bars and pubs. Let us go paaarty.”
NIKKI: Uhm, I thought that you were supposed to report to Hayate for the pranks.
COROLLA: Fate is Hayate disguised, remember?
MADOKA: I haven’t been around for a while, but since when do you need to pay to enter in a bar or a pub?
SERGIO: Since never. Unless they meant fake IDs, and that would be too much even for Hayate. That’s illegal, you know?
At their apartment, Fate was not in a good mood. When she saw Nanoha with a happy expression on her face like she just struck lottery, she felt happy for her friend. That was until Nanoha told her to stay over at Hayate’s house for tonight as she wanted to have a date with Yuuno at their house!? Which couple would have dates in their houses? It sounded stupid to her and the worst thing was that Nanoha was cooking and she could not get to taste her dishes and that she was being driven away from her house.
NIKKI: I do believe that her cooking is good, but not so much to want to ruin your friend’s date in order to eat it.
COROLLA: Well, Fate is right about that not really being a date. She basically just invited him over for dinner.
HOMURA: But she’s not such a jerk to kick her best friend out of home just to have a “date”. Especially if said best friend is supposed to be her actual fiancee.
MADOKA: How do you know all of that?
HOMURA: Same English voice actor.
KYUBEY: Homura Akemi, sharing knowledge this way isn’t possible. How did you manage to do that?
SERGIO: Kyubey, this place doesn’t run on laws of physics or logic.
KYUBEY: What? I just don’t understand!
SERGIO: You’re not the first.
Nanoha kept begging Fate even after she repeated her answer,” No” for umpteen times. Nanoha used all types of tactics such as the tear tactics which she pretended to cry and Fate response was to ignore it. She then asked her nicely but Fate rebuffed her. Nanoha then tried to reason with her but Fate answer seemed more reasonable to the extent that even Nanoha agreed with her. Nanoha then finally gave up and walked away,giving Fate a disappointed look that made her feel guilty. Finally, Fate gave up and said to Nanoha,” Oh alright. I will go to Hayate’s house to stay overnight and not disturb your precious date. Geez, you must repay me tenfold for my sacrifice alright?”
COROLLA: Oh, please. The more this fic goes on, the more immature they act. They were much more mature than that when they were just nine years old.
SERGIO: Should I go buy some pacifiers for when they become toddlers?
Nanoha gave a loud squeal and hugged her tightly, rubbing her face in Fate chest that caused her to blush furiously and gave a small protest but Nanoha ignored it. After a few minutes of nuzzling, Nanoha thanked her and quickly ran to prepare the dinner for the night date and Fate could only sighed and hoped that her sacrifice was worth it.
NIKKI: We are going to need those pacifiers very soon.
KYUBEY: Make a contract with me, and you can wish for them!
HOMURA: That won’t be necessary.
Homura pulls out of her shield several pacifiers and the book “Sarcasm for dummies”.
HOMURA: Read it, Incubator.
Fate sighed as she lie on the bed and stared at the ceiling. When will I find my love? Seeing Nanoha so happy like that, even I want to have a feel of it. Sigh…. Oh well, at least I still have Caro and Elrol with me. She played with her hairs as she continued to think of her non-existent love life. Fate then grabbed Bardiche gently and asked softly,” Ano Bardiche. Do you think I will ever be like Nanoha?” Bardiche answered,”Yes,Sir. Of course you will be. Don’t worry.”
SERGIO: The “Most In Character” prize goes to Bardiche.
NIKKI: I wasn’t even hoping anymore.
She smiled fondly at her life companion and her soul mate. Despite being an A.I, Bardiche displayed intelligence beyond normal A.I just like Raging Heart and to her, he is an unique A.I such that he could be considered as a living things and not programs.
COROLLA: Of course we are living things, thank you.
SERGIO: Corolla, you’re an Unison Device. Of course you are a living being. Bardiche and Raising Heart are in another class, so… Hey, that’s an interesting question.
COROLLA: Anyways, “Intelligence beyond normal AI” is the staple of their entire class of Devices. They’re called, guess what? Intelligent Devices. Do your Madoka-damned research.
MADOKA: … Eh?
COROLLA: … Whoops. I forgot that the goddess is right here.
MADOKA: I guess I have to get used to it.
She then turned to look at the ceilings again and sighed. Oh well, at least there are only 2 couples I know so far.
NIKKI: Numbers written in digits. Lazy.
COROLLA: It’s not like we were expecting any better.
KYUBEY: Why? It is energy-efficient.
All the other five people facepalm.
SERGIO: “Completely Missing The Point” has reached impossible heights today.
HOMURA: That’s Kyubey for you.
Chrono and Amy and Nanoha and Yuuno. At least Hayate and her knights do not have any boyfriends yet so I am not the only person to have single status among my close friends.
NIKKI: I though she didn’t want one?
SERGIO: … Were you expecting consistency from a badfic?
NIKKI: In fact, I wasn’t.
Caro and Elrol look good together but they are so young. Subaru and Tea seem impossible and they remind me of the relationship between Nanoha and I. Ahh, my life is so BORING!!
HOMURA: While I am a different kind of Magical Girl, I find hard to believe she even has the time to get bored.
COROLLA: You hit that bullseye. And she also has a lot of friends to hang out with when she has some spare time.
Nanoha was humming a tune she made up of herself while preparing the ingredients for the dishes. She had been preparing for this day by badgering her mom, Shamal and Fate to teach her to cook.
NIKKI: I thought she already helped with the Midori-ya cafe when she was nine?
COROLLA: Not only that, but she usually is the one who cooks at her and Fate’s house. In fact, I’m not exactly sure Fate would be a good cooking teacher, too.
SERGIO: Wait a minute here. Didn’t you miss something here?
Everyone looks at him.
SERGIO: Shamal. Teaching how to cook.
COROLLA: Oh, for Madoka’s sake….
Homura and Madoka are quite lost.
MADOKA: Is her cooking so bad? And I am right here, thanks.
Corolla answers by opening an holographic window., showing this photo:
Though her culinary skill was not very good, it warranted a pass from her teachers and that was an indication that she was ready. Hmm, a five courses meal is enough for us.
COROLLA: If in this fic she was taught how to cook by Shamal, her cooking can’t be very good.
HOMURA (still looking at the photo): I believe it.
SERGIO: I would praise the consistency, if this fic had a single thing right. And Fate didn’t say before that she wanted to eat Nanoha’s dishes, implying that those were good, and so nullifying any consistence this thing gained.
Hehe, I can’t wait to see Yuuno’s expression when he see the dishes from a future culinary chef. Just when she was washing the vegetables, she heard a shout from Fate,”…. My life is so BORING!!” She almost dropped her vegetables and looked at their room with alarm. Fate has finally goes crazy?
SERGIO: She is currently possessed by Hayate and an Author Wraith simultaneously. Of course she isn’t right in her head now.
At the 6th division headquarter, Hayate and Chrono were listening attentively to Yuuno report. Yuuno said with a serious expression,” The recent trip to find that elusive Lost Logia seems successful on the surface but I discover something during the excavation that will be a danger to the world.”
COROLLA: Nothing is more dangerous than the Hide-And-Seek Lost Logia.
MADOKA: … I’ll never play Hide-And-Seek again.
Hayate asked anxiously,” What is it?” Chrono muttered,” I have a bad feeling about it.” Yuuno nodded to Chrono who groaned and said,” I find a Jewel Seed and it is not a normal jewel seed. Normally, jewel seeds are dependent on the users but this time this jewel seed control the user from within. You can say that this jewel seed corrupt the people minds and since we have never exactly understand about jewel seeds, I do not know what will happen if the jewel seed controls its victim.”
COROLLA: Yay! Uncanonical Jewel Seeds!
NIKKI: Some Mary Sue Factory must be mass-producing them. The guys at DoSAT have an entire room full of them.
Chrono rubbed his temples and said,” So you seal it and put back to its original place and try to forget about the whole things. Or you keep it, bring it back here for more research and try to convince us to agree with your actions?”
Hayate looked intently at Yuuno and he gave a rueful smile and shrugged. This action convinced Chrono of his choice and he glared at Yuuno and said,” Will you care to explain to me then why are you keeping such a dangerous things?”
Yuuno replied,” Well, such an opportunity is very rare seeing that most of the jewel seeds have been sealed by Nanoha and Fate. It will be a rare chance to understand more about jewel seeds that may help us in the future.”
NIKKI: And to do that, you have to let those thing threaten people. Makes sense.
KYUBEY: What are you saying? It doesn’t!
SERGIO: The concept of sarcasm is alien to our alien.
COROLLA: The Department of Redundancy Department called. They want their jokes back.
Hayate gave an exasperating look at him while Chrono’s glare intensified. He said calmly but his voice radiated anger,” Are you joking? It is dangerous yet you bring it back just for research. Don’t be an idiot! You are endangering many worlds through your actions. Yuuno, get rid of it now and save all of us the trouble.”
COROLLA: Exactly! Don’t bring to us the exact objects that we study and keep hold of. Just toss it into a hole, I’m certain no one will ever find it.
SERGIO: Still, he should have sealed it. Those things are as dangerous as a not-yet-hatched Grief Seed.
MADOKA: Good thing that I destroyed all the Witches that were going to hatch from them.
Hayate nodded but Yuuno shook his head and replied,” No, it is not confirmed that it poses a danger to other people.
HOMURA: Because something that takes over your mind is perfectly harmless.
NIKKI: Well, this fic does say that Shamal’s cooking is good…
KYUBEY: This story is completely illogical. I don’t understand how it was supposed to be pleasant to read.
Trust me Hayate and Chrono. I will make sure that the jewel seed will not caused any troubles for us. Any sign of danger and I will immediately permanently sealed it and locked it away. Please, allow me to keep the seed.”
COROLLA (doing her best impression of cub eyes): Pleeeease? I’ll feed it and love it and call it George!
MADOKA: … I want to hug her.
They looked at each other for a while before Hayate sighed and said,” Alright Yuuno, we trust you not just because you are our friends but because we trust your words.” She then narrowed her eyes and said,” If I ever find out that the seed causes any trouble, I make sure that it will be gone from our lives forever. Mark my words, Yuuno.” Chrono was surprised at Hayate harsh words but Yuuno seemed satisfied at her answer. “Alright, may I be dismissed now? I got something on.”
SERGIO (Imitating Yuuno): I left the kettle on the stove. Gotta run.
KYUBEY: Why aren’t you going then?
HOMURA: When I told you to read that book about sarcasm, I meant it.
KYUBEY: I’ll never understand humans.
Chrono nodded and Yuuno walked out of the room swiftly, not caring to talk to them any longer. Hayate gave a worried glance at Chrono who mused over it. He then said,” Tell Nanoha and Fate to observe him. My instinct is screaming at me that there is something wrong with him” Please, let everything be alright.
COROLLA: Well, there is something wrong with him…
KYUBEY: That was an amazing show of coordination.
Yuuno reached his office which Hayate had given it to him, citing an excessive amount of space left in their head quarter. He locked the door and slumped onto the ground with a groan. He gritted his teeth and panted heavily. He muttered,” Soon, I will get rid of you. I swear with my life….” The right side of his chest radiate a black glow and there was an imprint on that area. An imprint of a jewel seed.
NIKKI: Totally not foreshadowing a Possessed!Yuuno.
SERGIO: Since he was already possessed by an Author Wraith, does that make him Possessed!Possessed!Yuuno?
COROLLA: I am seriously thinking that this MST would have been better suited for the Department of Redundancy Department.
At Nanoha and Fate house, Fate grabbed a small bag which contained all the necessities and headed towards the kitchen. Immediately, the fragrance of the dishes hit her nose and her eyes widened. She dropped the bag and ran into the kitchen, praying that she was on time.
MADOKA: I thought she wasn’t going to eat there?
SERGIO: We all did.
Finally, a scene greeted her which was Nanoha sitting on the floor with tears flowing down her face. She looked up at Fate and said,” What am I going to do now, Fate chan?”
COROLLA: OMG! A cliffhanger! What could have happened?
SERGIO: A stupid and illogical plot. I’m glad this thing is over.
Madoka sighs in relief.
MADOKA: Maybe I should have wished for the end of bad fanfiction too…
KYUBEY: Unfortunately, even your impressive karma wouldn’t have been enough.
NIKKI: Even hers? Badfics are truly the biggest menace out there.
SERGIO: Look at the bright side. There’s no way we can be fired for lack of work.
COROLLA: That’s something, I guess. I’m not sure if it’s a good thing, though.
HOMURA: You have my sympathies.
The group gets up and exits the theater. Oddly enough, no Kyubeys are killed.